(Source: melowinsss, via thatkidmomo)

I’m about to have a major ranting venting session right now.

I’m extremely mad at myself right now. I just realized that I’m a waste of space. I’m a useless waste of space with no purpose in this world. You know why? I’m not good at anything.

I came to this realization when I was studying for my anatomy final. You see, I’ve been on this emotional roller coaster for the past few weeks and the last thing I want to do is study… which is why I haven’t started studying until today, even though I had a good whole week to get started. So yeah, I’ve been too depressed to do anything but stay in bed and listen to music until I fall asleep. It wasn’t until today that I decided to actually study. And I hated it. I started considering just not studying at all and winging the final. That’s when it hit me.

I’m a complete moron to even consider bullshitting the final. If I have potential to get good grades, why don’t I try? Why would I settle for average? I’m so useless that I can’t even strive for good grades. Then I realized… I’m not good at school. What else am I not good at?

I have no talents or hobbies. I can’t get good grades. I can’t sing. I can’t dance. I can’t play an instrument. I can’t cook. I can’t draw. I can’t even do my hair nicely. I’m not good at shit.

When I was about 10, I started playing the piano because my mom forced me to. I really did want to be good at it, but I just couldn’t find any passion for it. I wasn’t good at it and I hated trying too hard. I eventually quit and now I hate myself for wasting time trying to be good at something that never worked. Recently, I tried taekwondo. I like it a little bit, but I know I’m not good at it. Yeah, I’m passing the tests and getting the belts, but I can’t fight. I can’t kick. I don’t remember the names of all the forms and moves and types of kicks or types of self defense. It’s been months and I still don’t remember anything. I haven’t gone in a few weeks and I’m thinking of just quitting. I don’t want to waste my time when I suck at it.

I can’t even look nice. My hair is dry and frizzy and it never stays straight. I hate putting it up but I have no choice. It looks horrible and I can’t tame it. It’s dried out and damaged. I just want nice, soft hair that I can leave down and no worry about. And if that’s not bad enough, I can’t even take care of my face. Ugh, I don’t wanna talk about how hard it is for me to look at my reflection. I hate it. And I don’t know what to do to fix it. Honestly, I just want some abs too. I’m trying to work out. If I can’t have nice hair or a nice face, I’d at least like to take care of my body. Why the fuck do I always get extremely hungry all the time though? That doesn’t help, me eating all the time. But I can’t starve because I’m just so insanely hungry. My body isn’t gonna change if I keep that up. And to top it off, I can’t even dress nice. For some reason, I just have a hard time putting outfits together. I either don’t have to right clothes or my brain is fried. So most of the time, I just look like a lazy mess. God, I can’t even look good.

I have no talents, no hobbies, and I can’t even look good.

I have no purpose.

FML.